I once met Sutcliffe at a cocktail party. I remember him well: I thought he was a complete pratt. I’m sorry, but I am just too pissed off to give a damn any more. If there was a hell - you are all going to burn in it and I am going to go to 'I never sold out' heaven.

When I was first asked to write this introduction I first thought of Dante. Then my thoughts turned to the little known Albonian monk Ernesto Deuodendum who, in the 12^th century penned an intriguing text about native water reeds in the upper Clydidian region of Southern Italy. That, curiously, also made me think of Dante. Then my wife brought me a cheese sandwich and this, intriguingly, inspired me to think of Dante further. My wife then remarked how she wished I would not call out the name ‘Dante’ during sex and, in consideration of her request – I ate the cheese sandwich and tried not to think of Dante in that way (although I found this quite challenging).

Then, with regret I turned my thoughts from Dante and onto this book for which a strange man in a plastic raincoat had paid me the sum of fifty dollars and a free lunch to write the introduction to.

I thought ‘stuff all those namby pamby books about water, chocolate and mandolins’ and after due consideration I decided that what the reading public wants is nastiness and violence and sex… and puppies.

I mean who doesn’t like puppies. They are cute and furry and are quadrupedal. What is there not to love? Not just two feet, but four! I have always thought that Dante would have a special spot reserved in his heart for puppies. In fact puppies, curiously, also remind me of Dante.

This book has very few puppies in it so it will probably be remarkably uninteresting to those interested in puppies, but may invoke Dante for some.